Why I Coach Engineering and Technology Leaders

My business division was being shut down. I spent weeks finding roles for all my managers and engineers across other teams, but when the dust settled, there was no seat left for me. Honestly, I made peace with it.

Then, one of my lead engineers walked into my office. He was a brilliant technologist, someone whose intellect and drive I deeply admired. When he heard I was leaving, he broke down in tears.

I hadn't done anything heroic. I had simply respected him, protected his focus, and treated him like a human being. Yet sitting across from him, the weight of the manager's role hit me with full force: a leader doesn't just manage output; they shape the daily reality and emotional well-being of their team.

When similar moments happened in later career transitions, it sparked a sobering question: Why had I never felt that way about any of my own managers?

Over three decades, I had leaders I genuinely revered for roughly 40% of my career. These were mentors I would walk through fire for. While 40% feels tragically low, I know I was one of the fortunate ones. Many engineers spend their entire working lives without experiencing a single great manager.

Instead, the anti-patterns left the deepest scars. Early in my career, I was burning with a fever and asked to leave early. My manager walked into my cubicle, unblinking:

“Visiting leadership from the US is here. I have a temperature too. Just pop some pills, sit in the meeting, and you'll be fine.”

I stayed through that meeting. The second it ended, I sprinted to the washroom and threw up. That afternoon, I made a silent vow: I will never treat another human being like this.