There is a powerful scene in the move King Richard (the true story of Venus/Serena Williams’s dad Richard) where the overbearing father Richard strongly argues with their tennis coach and does not allow his daughters to start playing pro tennis tournaments early like other upcoming tennis star kids are doing . He believes that exposing his kids to pro tennis too early would expose them to burnout and he wants his children to be HAPPY first and then SUCCESSFUL (and not the other way around!!). What this means is that Richard values happiness over success for his children and would do anything he can to protect this.
So, what is a value ? A value is a human quality to which we attribute importance , which we express by means of what we think ,say and do and recognize in what others say and do( from the book “What’s Important” by Kenton Hyatt and Cheryl De Ciantis) . Simply put , a value is something we value and demonstrate by our feeling, emotions and actions . When a value we cherish is honoured , we feel happy and when a value we cherish is violated ,we feel sad or upset .Some examples of values are honesty ,integrity,harmony,compassion,creativity,success,adventure etc..
So how do I know what my values are ?
Ask yourself these 3 questions and see what comes up
- When was the time you felt deeply satisfied in your life ? what was it which this moment so special for you ?
- Who is one person you truly admire ? what is it about this person that makes you admire him/her ?
- Have I felt strongly to respond to a person/ situation not directly involving me ? what is that made me feel this way ?
“Values are like fingerprints . Nobody’s are the same but you leave them all over everything you do”- quote attributed to Elvis Presley .
Each of us has different values , priority of these values and even different meanings for the same value!
Eg : if you and I have success as a core value , chances are the meaning of success could be very different for both of us .
Our values are typically not constant and can change based on our experiences, stage of life we are in etc . What makes values important is that spending the time and effort to identify our core values and audit how many of these values we are able to express every day is key to lead a deeply satisfying life .
Values at work
At the workplace , values manifest in the way we interact with each other and our level of satisfaction or not at work . Conflicts at work are often the result of different values people may have and each of us believing my values are superior or better . The truth that no value is higher or lower and at the same time identifying which value of mine was violated and expressing the same appropriately is the simple but not easy aspect of work life conversations(I have failed fabulously at this many times 😊)
So what are your core values ? How will your life change if you can identify and live by these values more often . We all don’t have to be a Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela who were compelled/inspired to action when their core values were violated and their actions changed the destiny of their nations . We can find our values and craft small actions on a daily basis to live these values . Writing this article was one such small action for me ( Entries invited for guessing and describing the value as I see it 😊) . What will be yours ?
Nice post, Shankar. . Are you asking us to guess your values ? If so l, then I’d say living a life of purpose. Curiosity. Perhaps also kindness and integrity?
I’d say mine are love for family, adventure, a sense of freedom, and creativity. And integrity in all my social interactions.